The Pain Of Planning A Wedding

This is your warning: This post is going to be all over the place, and probably make zero sense at times.


Over the last 6 months, wedding planning has taught me several things… These are just the few standing out to me today as I deal with a small portion of the drama that has begun to spin around our happiest day…

You cannot make everyone happy.
This is something you’d think I would have learned by now. Having grownup with so many siblings, dinner and day trip decisions were rarely 100% agreed upon; but for whatever reason, I still haven’t quite grasped this. Someone will wonder why you got vanilla cake instead of chocolate, why you did plated dinner instead of buffet, why you did or didn’t do a bouquet toss. At the end of the day, you do what makes YOU and your future husband/wife happy, what will make YOUR day something you look back on and smile at.

Etiquette is not the most important part of wedding planning.
Yes, “etiquette says everyone gets to bring their significant other” BUT, the venue was the first thing booked, slim pickings for the time of year we wanted the wedding, and the date was something we refused to change, so we sucked it up and chopped the guest list down and chose a smaller venue. I personally don’t think we should have to remove someone from our MAXED out guest list, so a family member we never see can bring her new beau that no one cares to meet. We maxed out our guest list before you started dating Billy Bob Joe, sorry. Even if someone RSVP’s that they can’t make it, we aren’t inviting your flavor of the month, if he’s even around come the day of the wedding. We’re going to fill that space with one of our friends who we simply didn’t have room for before. I know many people on the wedding blogs I follow would argue with all of this-luckily they aren’t invited to the wedding, so it really has no affect on them.

Fun cannot be scheduled or planned.

DIY is not always the cheapest option.

It is no one else’s business how much money we spent on our DJ, flowers, venue, cake, etc.
If there is ANYTHING that has pissed me off it is this, this right here. Do not sit there and tell me you can’t believe we spent X amount of dollars on our cake that is only going to look pretty for a short time, until it’s sliced and diced and served to guests. If we want to spend $20000000000 on a cake, we will. This is our wedding. Don’t worry about what things cost, worry about yourself. Does the cake taste good? Good. Great. Glad you liked it. Don’t ask me how much it cost because I really don’t feel like hearing you say things like “OH MY GOD, do you know what you couldn’t done with all that money?!” Yes, we do. But we WANTED to spend it on our cake, for our wedding, the biggest and most important day of our lives thus far. Oh, you had a BLAST at our photo booth but can’t imagine ever spending that much money for one? Cool, then don’t. But WE chose to, because it’s OUR wedding, and OUR decision. Don’t get all testy at us because of how we chose to spend our money for our wedding.

New England Aquarium

The Aquarium.
We’ve all been there; whether it was a field trip at age 6 with our first grade class, or as an adult with our own children. No matter your age at the time of your visit, the aquarium is a wondrous place.

The last time I was there, I was in high school, and it was a spur-of-the-moment trip with my mom, her husband, my best friend *Aubrey, and my 11 year old sister *Rose. They took our picture before we entered the aquarium-I looked utterly bored and unexcited. At the age of 16, my focus was on my boyfriend, and how angry I was that he couldn’t come. Thankfully, I had my best friend of 10 years by my side to pull me out of that funk. Aubrey always had a way of pulling the stick out of my ass when I was being the Queen of All Things Crabby. I’m not sure I ever really thanked her for that…

Once I had my happy-face back in place, I was able to enjoy the wonders of the aquarium. I remember watching the seals swimming in this huge tank outside-one was swimming next to the glass and following this little boy who was running back and forth. As the boy changed directions, so did the seal. Inside, I was mesmerized by the penguins. They were located just inside the doors, so they were one of the first things you saw. I could’ve spent hours watching them. I don’t quite know what it is about penguins, but I’ve always loved them. Maybe it’s their goofy waddle, or the way they shake their butts as they swim. The only thing that could pull me away from them, was the sea horses! They have always seemed so majestic and magical to me. I think I have Disney movies to thank for that.

This past Saturday, I returned to the New England Aquarium for the first time since that trip in 2005. I was accompanied by my sister *Luna, her boyfriend *Mitchell, my nephew *Beary, and my Fiancé, we’ll call him *Pooh. Saturday was Beary’s first time at an aquarium. The hour-long ride down was full of “Shark!” “Penguin!” “Seal!” while “Uncle” drove, and “Auntie” played with sunglasses and took pictures. Beary was most excited for the sharks-we were all excited to watch him check things out.
While Luna paid for her and Beary’s ticket, I brought him over to check out the seals. The look on his face was priceless. The seals were doing tricks while the trainer fed them. Beary just stood there watching, mouth wide with wonder. The only way we could get him away from the seals was to bring up the “sharks!” and tell him there were fish even bigger than Chip inside.

Chip is Beary’s fish at home, who lives in a pineapple under the tap water. I’m pretty sure my sister only named him Chip for one reason…
“Beary, tell Auntie your fishie’s name.”
“What is it?!”
Good thing she didn’t name him Truck or the fun would never end.

The first thing we did once we were inside, was check out the shark and stingray touch-tank. Again, Beary’s chin hit the floor. I reached in and touched a stingray, and then one of the smaller sharks, but Bear had no interest in doing the same. He was perfectly content just watching, pointing at each one as they swam by him. (Though he did eventually touch a starfish, for half a second)

After a few minutes of watching him watch the sharks and rays, we ventured down the stairs to the Jellyfish Lair, passing a few smaller tanks on the way, but not stopping. (Who wants to waste time on anemones?) The jellyfish tanks were much darker than the tanks we had passed by, and Beary was not a fan. I picked him up, pointed to one, and told him this was a jellyfish. With one arm tight around my neck, he reached out to touch the glass, only to pull back seconds later in fear, and burry his head in my neck.
“No! No!”
I moved on to a tank of smaller jellies only to get the same reaction.

We walked past a few more tanks of small ones, some almost microscopic, before stopping at the Mother Of All Jellies tank. Beary looked at this massive jellyfish for a few minutes, almost confused. I touched the tank.
“See? They can’t hurt you in there.”
He reached out and touched this tank.
“Of all the tanks, you want to touch the tank with the King Pin Jellyfish?” I thought
Then, a few seconds after his finger touched that glass, his face changed as he was again overcome by fear, shouting “No!” and squeezing tighter.
Time to head back upstairs-To the penguins!
These were some seriously mouthy penguins. It was feeding time for them, just like it was for the seals, so they were extra energetic and loud. God, were they loud. We got to watch a few jump into the water and swim around. Some looked like they were going to push others off the rocks, but sadly, it never happened. We slowly made our way around the big, cylindrical penguin exhibit towards the walls where the fish tanks were. Beary liked the bright colored fish, and the more illuminated tanks. These didn’t scare him like the jellyfish. After all, they were just bigger versions of Chip.
As we kept walking, we eventually came to the gigantic center tank. I think this was Bears favorite part. There were tons of fish, 2 sea turtles, some eels, and a few real big fish that scared the complete crap out of him as they swam by. Watching him stand there, and get so excited every time he saw the turtles, made this trip far more wondrous than I imagined it would be.
The center tank had ramps around it, all the way up to the top where you could look down into the tank. I think my favorite part of this day-trip happened at the top. While we were standing next to the glass, Beary looked to his left, to see a little girl his age looking at the same sea turtle. His eyes grew wide, his jaw dropped, and he took in a quick breath of shock. He looked at us, then back at the little girl. He did this a few times, eyes and mouth still wide, until she and her family walked away. His first crush and first heartbreak all in a matter of moments.

At the top floor, there were also a few tanks with seahorses, my favorite! Bear’s fear from jellyfish tanks returned. Sadly, we won’t be able to share a love of seahorses. I’m sure it didn’t help that he was also getting sleepy. We can try again another day.😉
We decided is was time to head out and find some food before venturing home. We walked down to Faneuil Hall Marketplace and had some lunch, then stopped at the best cupcakery in the world-Wicked Good Cupcakes. 2 cupcakes in one jar, so many flavors to choose from, and only $7.25 a jar. What more could a girl ask for?

Beary was snoring in the back seat as soon as we hit the highway. This trip left my heart warm for the remainder of the weekend. I know Bear won’t soon forget it. On Sunday while Face-timing him & Luna, he brought up the “jelly bibbits”, with that same look of fear on his face. His 2nd birthday is next month. I’m thinking Pooh & I will get him a stuffed jelly…

Soon To Be Mrs P.

*Names have been changed to protect the crazies in my life.

Carefree Living

As a twenty-something in 2016, I had a front row seat and backstage passes for the social media takeover. My teenage years were full of the internet and all that comes with it-the good, the bad, the selfie. I went from spending hours outside with my friends, to spending hours inside, behind a screen, pounding away at the keys. My buddy profile was always completed to perfection; putting together only the best quizzes and polls (“how else will I know if he likes me?!” “My profile has to be prettier than so-and-so’s!”). My away messages were always long-full of detail and color (“I have to let everyone know how awesome my life is and how fun I am so they’ll want to be my friend!”). I had many long and, at the time, meaningful conversations. But now, 10 years later, do I remember what those conversations were? A few of them, sure. But the majority of them? Nope. Can I recall even one quote I posted after spending hours stressing and making sure it was “pretty”? Not a chance. Does anyone I was friends with at the time have any memory of a single thing I posted, or all the totally tubular things I said I was doing? Highly doubtful.

What I do remember?

Spending my summers swimming and playing basketball with the neighborhood kids. Jumping in the leaves, long walks, and apple picking in the fall. Snowball fights, sledding, and hot cocoa in the winter. Busting out our bikes and rollerblades on the first spring day.

I’ll never forget playing tag on rollerblades, and I fell in my neighbor’s driveway, earning my first 6 stitches. Or all the times my childhood best friend and I made up dances on the front lawn. And I used to climb trees like a monkey!

You might be thinking to yourself, “Life was so carefree and simple as a child…”–But why can’t it be just as carefree now? I truly believe it can be.

Yes, as adults, we have different responsibilities than we did as children; but other than having bills to pay, what is so different? If anything, I see no reason why life shouldn’t be even more carefree as an adult. We now have the freedom to travel where we please, eat what we want, and go to bed when we feel like it, even if it’s 8:00pm!

Why do so many people suffer from stress, anxiety, and depression these days, instead of living a simpler, more carefree life? In my honest opinion, social media. Sure, there are other things that lead to stress, anxiety, and depression-but in my case, social media has been the biggest cause. Did you pay attention to what I wrote back there? I “perfected” my profile and away messages on AIM based off what would make other people like me, or would make it seem like I was having more fun than I actually was. I spent more time making it look like I was this awesome, fun, bubbly person, than I did actually being that person. Social media helped me lose myself. I became more focused on my image than anything else in my life. MySpace and Facebook only made things worse. Now there’s a platform where you can share more than just quotes and what you’re doing! You can share pictures, too!

The worst part about this social media takeover? I couldn’t delete my Facebook if I wanted to, which I desperately do. I have family and friends in my Facebook friends that seem to have forgotten how to pick up their telephones, write a letter, or knock on my door… And I know I’m not the only one struggling with this.

I no longer want to sit behind a screen and spend time scrolling through your pictures, status updates, and video shares. I want to spend time with you. I want to go outside, take long walks, and go on adventures… Even just watch a movie without a cell phone being taken out. I want to live carefree, and not worry if this post or that picture is going to offend someone. I want to be myself again, not who social media makes me feel I need to be. I want to make new memories, not waste my life behind a screen. 5 years from now, no one is going to remember that meme you shared; but they will remember apple picking, sledding, or hiking a mountain with you…

Last year, I reached a breaking point. I swore to myself that I would stop posting every day, and make a change when it came to how much time I wasted on social media, and I have noticed a huge change.

I searched for, and found, pen pals from other countries, who have become very good friends of mine; One has even invited me and my fiancé for a visit in Italy. I’ve made a conscious decision to put myself and my happiness first, for the most part, which was a big step for me. I’ve always tried to make others happy before myself, and made sure not to post certain things because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I’ve begun spending more time with my Fiancé, and our dog, family, and friends, instead of spending time on Facebook talking to people I haven’t seen in person since high school. I no longer stress about having forgotten to post “Happy Birthday” on someone’s Facebook wall, and whether or not they will be mad at me for it. (Yes, that has happened… More than once.) I’ve developed an opinion again-no longer saying “I don’t care” when asked “What do you want to do for dinner?”. I don’t hesitate as much as I did, even 6 months ago, when it comes to trying new things. I firmly believe it is because I have started to remove social media from my life, and began focusing on the things that make me feel carefree again. I can slowly feel myself coming back to life, and I am so excited to see where I’m at in another year.

I may be a little late for a new years resolution, but it’s never to late to make a positive change. I highly recommend this one.♥

  Soon To Be Mrs P.